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My Inner Skier

I learned to ski when I was 4 years old. My childhood and teenage years were full of skiing, races, and fun with friends. I hopped on a Trailways bus at the age of 19 to move to CA from the east coast. Skiing took a back burner for many years until I moved to my beloved Bend 6 years ago. Being from the east coast. I missed fall and winter each year that time came around in CA.

I was so happy to experience my first winter with snow here in Bend and to live so close to skiing!! I bought some used equipment which did not work for me and caused great effort I didn't know at the time it was the equipment I was struggling quite a bit to ski. I was shocked it was so hard! The next year I got in an accident on the way up to the mountain and suffered a TBI which sat me out of skiing yet for over a year. When I got back on my feet I would panic when I thought of skiing or driving to ski as a result of the accident. Skiing became a stressful activity which caused anxiety for me. This put a damper on skiing for me. I was torn because skiing is in my soul and the majestic Cascades would call to me yet I felt fear.

Fast forward, I figured out my equipment issues and bought new skis. I healed from the automatic anxiety I felt each time I passed the area where the accident was or thought about going to the mountain. I went up for the first time this year, there was wet snow that was 6-7 inches deep. I don't know how to ski in those conditions. I kept falling and I ended up in tears.

I reached out to my friend Tina who is an experienced skier and asked for help. We met on the mountain and I voiced all the turmoil I was experiencing. In just a few hours she helped me rise above the fear I was locked behind and my inner skier came to life. I found myself blissfully going down the trails and all my ability and confidence activated. She showed me a few tweaks in my format and I felt like a joyful little kid! The point is I was free and confident again. This was so deeply healing to me!!

So this is my ski story but there are so many things we can get stuck on like this. What helped is I stopped judging myself and reached out for help. I went back to the mountain a week later and felt great, strong confident, and FREE!!

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